April 20, 2016 by RJ
Fetishism is a pathological disorder characterized by
a peeping creep stealing your panties from the drier
while you were down the block at the café sipping
a cappuccino and talking to a neighbor about how hard
it is to meet straight men in the city. The fetishist usually
holds the desired object and licks, rubs, or smells it,
which reminds him of lonely vacations as a teenager
in which he’d put his arms around trees and fantasized
high heels pressing into his back while his first grade
teacher pulled out his little jigger and displayed it to the
class saying he would never grow into the type of man
that anyone would want. Nearly all fetishists are male
though sometimes women will cross-dress and imagine
their vaginas being licked by bears, wolverines, and
sometimes even lions depending upon their relationship
with their fathers who also were fetishists married to
women who were soccer moms during the day and
devoted churchgoers on Sunday.
An academic is someone with great knowledge in a particular field.
He or she doesn’t necessarily have to possess a Ph.D, but he or she
should have read more than comic books and information on the side
of cereal boxes. An academic can be a very bright child whose lust
for learning made them not want to waste their time playing jacks or
hopscotch with the lower elements in the neighborhood. An academic
must be highly organized and driven to write articles that no one understands
thereby perpetuating a complex and alien world that non-academics can
aspire to if they can somehow find the time and discipline to do the research
on their own.
is an addiction dominated by young males which ultimately deprives
them of ever reaching a true manhood. Though a boy may eventually
assume a man’s body and even marry, he will only be accepted by
women who are drug addicts, alcoholics, or onanists themselves.
This male dominated obsession often starts at an early age in which
the boy fantasizes a female pop star chasing him around his house
wearing nothing but a bra and girdle. The boy will repeat this fantasy,
though the female pop star may change to a movie actress or even to
a young woman who works at a Starbucks in the neighborhood. And
in his vulnerable state, the boy tries to compensate for his inadequacy
by eventually trying out for the chess team at school, or he many attempt
to be successful at more physical activities like pingpong or slam dancing.
Statistics show that many of these same boys will wind up homeless,
incarcerated, or committed to mental institutions depending upon how
frequently they practiced this aberration and at what age they started.
To date, there is no known cure for this condition, but new medications
are being tested that have shown positive results on mice and other small
animals, though none of these drugs has yet to be approved by the FDA.
JEFFREY ZABLE is a teacher and conga drummer who plays Afro Cuban Folkloric
music for dance classes and Rumbas around the San Francisco Bay Area. His poetry, fiction, and non-fiction have appeared in hundreds of literary magazines and anthologies. Recent writing in Serving House Journal,Futures Trading, Unscooped Bagel, Mocking Heart Review, Houseboat (featured poet), 2015 Rhysling Anthology, Poetry Pacific, Abbreviate Journal, Third Wednesday, Mas Tequila, Bookends Review, Weirderary and many others.